TeaMarrr’s ‘Kinda Love’ proves even Build a Man won’t make women happy
TeaMarrr’s ‘Kinda Love’ proves even Build a Man won’t make women happy
Yet another reason clingy partners are awful
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” on May 16, 2020.
TeaMarrr and D Smoke are onto something in their new(ish) remix “Kinda Love.” Even better, neither men nor women can say they were bashed in the making of it. If you’ve never seen the R&B/hip-hop collabo, TeaMarrr purchased her very own (handsome) Build a Man robot. She even got to choose which one she wanted — with eight initial features on the welcome screen.
She taught him how to play cards, take selfies, cuddle, give her hugs-from-the-back, lay in “Creed” position, dance, lightly play with her hair and watch her favorite web shows. (The 1:11 always makes me laugh because there’s no way he dances that bad.) For the average woman, these tips sound amazing. What she wasn’t prepared for was the Build a Man to have no life (or job), watch her while she slept, need to know where she was at all times and become physically clingy. Been there, TeaMarrr, been there.
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In comes D Smoke (winner of Netflix’s “Rhythm + Flow” and the artist behind 2020’s “Black Habits”) with the latex advice, along with joking about her wanting a man who was “Anthony Davis tall.” He called her out for wanting someone who was intelligent but not realizing that same guy will “think that petty shit is irrelevant” when women are venting. Been there too, TeaMarrr, been there too.
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In the current world of empty lyrics, excessive twerking, bizarre self-snitching about one’s criminal background and a lot of bragging about unproven success, new artists like these two are a delightful change of pace. Although the video was more comical than preachy, it still brings up a lot of good points about today’s relationships. While no couple wants the same things, there are some patterns that seem pretty reasonable. While you may initially (and physically) get what you want, it still comes down to the basics.
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According to eharmony’s “Quality Time, Sex and Politics: eharmony’s 2020 Happiness Index Results,” 2020 happy couples are oftentimes on the same page about a few things:
While 2019 couples were more focused on quality time, 2020 couples are more likely to focus on sex. (According to D Smoke, “You want him to empathize, but be killing that shit in the mattress, huh?”)
Interestingly, 86% of individuals who have sex with their partner weekly are happier than 78% of couples who have sex monthly and 66% of those who have sex a few times per year. (However, 87% of couples who put an equal focus on quality time and sex are happy, compared to 82% of those who focus more on quality time and just 69% of those who focus more on sex.)
Men are more more likely than women (17% versus 10%) to be “really angry” when their partners “phubbed” them — were in the habit of snubbing them to play around with their smartphones. (That turns quality time on its heels, doesn’t it?)
Although a COVID-19 world has made it especially hard to be happy and lucrative couples (those making $200K or more annually), it’s worth noting that happiness is greater among those who are employed and those who consider themselves to be the main household breadwinner.
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Clearly there is more to a relationship than sex, the amount of quality time and making money, but TeaMarrr’s video and the survey seem to be in collaboration about the important of just plain old compatibility.
Fun fact: The guy who has all the quality time in the world can suddenly be too much to deal with when you’re his entire world. Poor girl. She should’ve recycled the parts instead of burying him in the backyard. Be careful what you wish (or pay) for.
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