Can men and women truly be platonic friends?
Can men and women truly be platonic friends?
While my immediate answer is ‘yes,’ attraction level can be a barrier
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” on July 20, 2020.
“For someone so book smart, you’re incredibly naive,” he told me. “Men and women can never be friends. If a man is friends with a woman, it’s only for as long as he’s with another woman.”
I raised an eyebrow at him. It was impossible to ignore the obvious. I’d considered him a platonic friend and knew he had a wife. So did that mean that if he and his wife ever got a divorce, he’d try to pursue me? I doubted it.
Although my first thought was, “He’s finer than a motherfather” the first time I saw him in a lobby, as soon as I saw a wedding ring, the lust dried up like sand. From that point forward, I was on FRIEND ALERT!
So, I shrugged his comment off and told him we could agree to disagree. After all, my godfather and my mother had been best friends since elementary school. He was even in my parents’ wedding. I had several examples growing up of how platonic friendship was reasonable and realistic.
Months later, after he blurted out that he sometimes wished his wife was me, I changed the subject. I wasn’t going to touch that comment at all. Those two seemed happy, and I definitely was not going to be the August Alsina* in their relationship. For me, he was a perfect example of being physically attracted to someone but regarding him the same way I would my girl cousins or godsisters — well, if they had a … never mind.