That time he spoke my love language
When my college crush proved he understood ‘Quality Time’
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” on August 30, 2019.
I gritted my teeth and looked at the slimmer fraternity guy, leaning back eating grapes from a bowl. There was no way he didn’t know that the platter of food spread out over the coffee table, the bowl of fruit, the incense, and the noticeably clean living room was for me.
He ate those grapes like they were Thanksgiving dinner while his heavier fraternity friend checked me out. Neither of them spoke. They just quietly observed me and the person I came to see.
This was the first time I’d hung out with my college crush at his off-campus apartment. (We’d mainly hung out at my apartment because I didn’t have a roommate.) I made fun of the platter of lunch meat and cheese and bread because half of it was eaten.
Turns out he took it from his mom’s house when he went home a few hours away from our school. College dating = Mom’s leftover party meals, I guess. Still, though, he tried.
But I hadn’t been there more than about 10 minutes or so before someone banged on his door. I knew he’d been getting weirder all semester. Usually a pretty well-dressed man with a perfectly shaped afro or braids, he’d randomly show up to class with his hair all over his head and clothes that looked like he’d been mowing a yard.
Initially, I just assumed he was just over college. But the confident way that the two fraternity men sat down on his furniture, the quicker I realized that he wasn’t randomly raggedy for no reason. He was pledging. And when you pledge into a fraternity, you are not supposed to date — and there are rumors you can’t have sex either. (For the record, we had not done the latter.)