I need to talk to my weed guy
I need to talk to my weed guy
Because I never won the Olympics like Tara Davis-Woodhall or Sha’Carri Richardson
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” on April 27, 2023.
I leaned against the nearest bookshelf I could find. I counted stars. I looked for shooting stars. While wearing a bridesmaid dress, I smiled at a handsome family friend who was way too far on the other side of the room to flirt with. In jeans, I did manage to stand up and walk to the passenger side of a car to go to Krispy Kreme for donuts. Every blue moon, I’d even stroll outside with my college roommate to sit on a picnic bench. While she talked, I laid straight out on one side of that bench and stared at the grass.
That is what it’s like when I smoked weed. I didn’t stop smoking weed because of a moral obligation, because I felt guilty about doing “drugs” or even because it wasn’t legal in certain states. I stopped simply because I was beyond relaxed to the point of getting absolutely nothing done.
In mid-August of last year, around the same time this small claims lawsuit was in its initial stages, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. My BP was shooting up to 180/100. I went from 30 grams to 60 grams of BP meds to get it back to a normal rate. The truth is I already know what would calm me down on even the worst days: weed.
It would not be good for me to start again though. I’d probably giggle in court and completely lose track of my carefully labeled pile of evidence. While high, I am the chillest person you ever want to meet — regardless of who is around. Otherwise, I can be anywhere from intense and thoughtful to creative and goofy; it all depends on my surroundings. Athletic though? Minus being able to dance, absolutely no one would ever describe me this way.
This leads me to my next gripe.
Please stop suspending Olympians and athletes
Either my weed guy was absolutely trash during college and beyond, or athletic departments are overreacting ginormously to cannabis. At no point and time could I have ever won anybody’s 100-meter race or been invited to the Tokyo Olympics like Sha’Carri Richardson. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to compete in the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo nor won any gold in the women’s long jump at the 2023 USA Indoor Track and Field Championships in Albuquerque — with a leap of 22 feet and 11 inches — like Tara Davis-Woodhall.