Jeannie Mai proves another reason to sign a prenup: infidelity clause
Why I agree that more women should have a significant financial penalty on men who cheat
Party time! A few years ago, I’d gone to a nightclub with a cousin and was surrounded by several of her sorors and her husband’s (then-boyfriend) frat. Although the initial goal was just to enjoy my night out with cuzzo, those two were so chill that I didn’t feel like a third wheel (rhyme unintentional). But there was one part of the night that made me uncomfortable.
I could see a very handsome man standing quietly to the side and trying to get my attention. He smiled. I smiled. He asked me to (Chicago) step with him. Unfortunately for me, I am one of those Chicagoans who was born and raised on the South Side but cannot step … well. I can move my feet from front to back and I can definitely dance. But if you’re looking for me to kick my leg up like Nia Long or act like those outfit-matching couples in the 1997 film “Love Jones,” it’s not happening.
Still, I tried to struggle-step with this guy as he made conversation. He asked me did I have a man, and I paused a beat before answering. I was sorta interested in a friend from high school, who’d just visited me during a holiday break. He returned to his military location shortly after. (For WNTT regular readers, no, I’m not talking about this guy. Although I met both men while I was in in high school, they look nor act anything alike.) I’ve never been one to lie, so I told him the truth. However, I quickly followed this up by saying I was single.
His response, “Oh, well, if he’s away in the military, he wouldn’t be faithful anyway. That’s long distance.”
I stopped shuffling my feet, turned my head to the side and looked at my dance partner. Why on Earth would anybody say that out loud? Not only was it ballsy to act like he knew this random stranger, but the indifference about cheating was alarming too. (Side note: My parents have been married for 43 years and started their relationship while my father was in an out-of-state college. Long-distance relationships do work if both parties are willing to try.)
Without him intending to, this man on the dance floor had indirectly told me how little he cares about being faithful — without us even going on a first date. He saw my change in reaction, and I turned to leave the dance floor. He’d already given me his business card with personal contact info on it. I sat that business card on the table.
While some would say a prenup is like planning for a divorce, to me, it’s no different than buying an auto insurance policy. You don’t buy or rent a car with the intention of crashing it. But should it happen, at least you are prepared for the worst.
While my cousin’s boyfriend popped my collar and asked me how’d it go with the stepper, I shook my head “no.” He shrugged and started laughing. I didn’t see anything funny until I realized the guy was behind me again. I turned around.
“Even if you’re not interested in me like that, I still would like to network with you,” he said. “Please keep my card. Don’t just leave it on the table like that.”
Imagine that. A man flippantly discussing cheating but then being the business card police. Don’t worry about putting a woman’s health at risk and assume you know the mindset of every man. But wasting cardboard paper? What are you — a monster?
What Jeannie Mai did right with Jeezy
I thought about that recently while reading a recent report from Essence. Model and former talk show host Jeannie Mai is being accused of “gatekeeping” her 1-year-old daughter with rapper Jeezy. While I do hope the couple can come to an amicable agreement on visitation after she apparently was startled by being served with divorce papers, there’s one part of their prenup that caught my attention more.
“The Court should enforce Paragraph 8 of the Prenuptial Agreement regarding infidelity which provides, in pertinent part, that in the event that either party engages in sexual relations, an emotional relationship, or is emotionally or sexually suggestive in communication with a third party via all forms of electronic communication, including but not limited to, texting, sexting, Facetiming, social media and/or Direct Messages, shall result in a significant financial penalty upon the adulterous party as specified in said Prenuptial Agreement.”
A fine for cheating? I am 100% in support of this, especially as a former volunteer for the (now-defunct) Chicago STD awareness organization BEHIV.