Is it OK for your mom to be your wingwoman?
Erykah Badu’s thirst trap post with her daughter: Yay or nay?
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” on January 24, 2023.
I have an aunt who I don’t get along with — at all. We’ve been going at it since I was in elementary school, and it is damn near impossible for us to peacefully coexist for more than 30 minutes. But she is also the aunt who introduced me to one of my top five favorite childhood movies (“Oliver Twist”), gave me a breakdown on quality undergarments (although it led to a preteen-adult screaming match in Victoria’s Secret over the color orange versus pink) and bought me Erykah Badu’s first CD. There have been moments where I absolutely enjoyed her company but far more where I thought she was unnecessarily argumentative and loath(ed) her.
Regardless of that, every single time any of the three things mentioned above come up, she pops into my head. I still enjoy two of the three, so I have to give credit where credit is due. (I have so much VS inventory that I may as well invest in their stock, and I can pretty much recite the 1968 version of the movie based on Charles Dickens’ book word for word.)
Erykah Badu is where there is a gray area*. I absolutely adore Badu’s music and her sound, but when she goes off the rails on how girls should dress (knee-length skirts), R. Kelly and Hitler, she loses me. Big time. I have not listened to her music in years because I just cannot take her commentary on women.
It doesn’t make her any less talented nor does it make me deny that she is drowning in talent. There are some artists who I can appreciate for the art and cringe at their alleged past (ex. Marvin Gaye). There are others who gave up completely on defending (ex. Bill Cosby). Then there are those who I grudgingly hold onto for the art although I wish I could unsee/unhear/unknow their views (ex. Erykah Badu). But she just keeps saying or doing things that ruin it again, which led me to my tweet above.
While Twitter bickers back and forth about whether an Instagram image of a mother and daughter showing off their butts is appropriate, there was one particular tweet that caught my interest the most: It was about whether it’s inappropriate for a mother to be a wingwoman for her child. I’m 50/50 on this one. Here’s why.
Your mom can be your wingwoman — with a few caveats
When I graduated from high school, my mother’s friend brought her son to my graduation party. The house was packed full of people, and I was mixing and mingling with everyone. I’d seen her son in a few photos, but I didn’t know him personally. Still, I walked right on over, greeting them with hugs and the usual “nice to meet you” home training. Apparently my mother’s friend really liked my whole look and style because she immediately started encouraging my mother to hook me up with her son, saying even though he was a couple years younger than me, we’d be a good couple.