Erotica fiction will never be my cup of tea
And it took a Judy Blume book special for me to finally narrow down why
Writer’s note: This post was originally published on Medium’s “We Need to Talk” and has been moved to the new Substack blog in July 2023.
“I don’t understand why people like porn,” she said to me. “It’s just so boring. It doesn’t do anything for me at all.”
I was a little caught off guard by her comment. She isn’t a prudish woman. She has two kids, is married and is a genuinely upbeat person. I’ve seen her flirt unapologetically with a stripper at a mutual friend’s bachelorette party. She even cracks naughty jokes on occasion.
But when her longtime friend (also married) suggested the four of them watch porn together, she hesitated — then agreed. Within minutes, her friend and their husbands were egging the porn stars on and delighted at the video show. Meanwhile, she lost interest and wandered off into another room.
“Everything in porn isn’t for everybody,” I explained. “Maybe you would’ve needed to see people who you were aroused by to enjoy it.”
She shrugged. “I guess. I just don’t see the point of watching somebody else have sex. It’s like watching somebody eat. I’d rather have the meal myself.”
I gasped. Finally somebody who understood the parallels of why I don’t enjoy erotica fiction — even when I was hired to ghostwrite an erotica fiction book.
To this day, I still do not understand why the publishing company or the editor reached out to me. I’d written a couple of books shortly after college graduation, and neither one of them was particularly sexual. While sex was had, it was more of an afterthought than a main point of the book. I put far more energy into writing about sexually transmitted disease prevention than I did juicy details about sex.