AMC Fire Tower 12 staff in North Carolina, stop bothering people with disabilities
AMC Fire Tower 12 staff in North Carolina, stop bothering people with disabilities
My mother's discipline tactic that worked for parenthood and into adulthood
When I was a kid, I always knew I went too far with mouthing off or rebelling if my mother turned around, looked into my eyes and said, “Am I bothering you?”
On a computer screen, it may not have the same sauce. In person, her tone was very much, “Back off. You’ve gone too far.”
Sometimes I would counter with, “No, but what I’m trying to say is …” in a way calmer tone. Majority of the time, I would huff and walk away because this wasn’t a battle worth having.
It was a smart teaching tactic. I took it with me into adulthood and often use that as my go-to for whether I want to confront someone, speak up on a topic or “let you live.” It most certainly comes in handy when I’m speaking about a subject I’m ignorant of but am overly confident about.
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When slang is slang or slang is offensive
In 2022, I stood 10 toes down about defending Lizzo’s “GRRRLS” and Beyonce’s “Heated” for using the slang term “spaz.” Why? As an ‘80s baby, I’d heard that word nonstop to describe someone who was about to curse someone out or dance really well at a party. I was determined to educate people on hip-hop slang terms even if the disabled community said it was a slur. Two things can be right at the same time, but the way Lizzo and Beyonce were using it was not a slur.
But the more defensive I got and the more I talked about people being overly sensitive about a phrase, the more I realized three things: 1) I’m not disabled, so it’s very easy for me to ignore ableist language. 2) I lost absolutely nothing from listening and respecting their right to be offended. 3) My argument sounded exactly like non-minorities telling minorities (primarily black people) how they should react to being slighted.
In so many words, “Are we bothering you?”
Recommended Read: “If you’re not a minority, why are you so sure of your anti-racism tourism? ~ White people, please stop telling me to leave America to escape racism”
Clearly, it didn’t bother Lizzo or Beyonce much; they updated the lyrics to the song and went about their day. And I learned a valuable lesson about when to shut up, especially when I have the privilege of not being made fun of for something completely out of my control: a physical disability. (My dog is an emotional support animal, but that’s a BGIDW post for another day.)
AMC’s North Carolina movie theater failed at customer service
The prior example leads me to a more recent ableist offense: 60-year-old civil rights leader Bishop William Barber getting kicked out of a movie theater while trying to watch “The Color Purple.” He hadn’t started any protests. He wasn’t calling out an “ism.” He was minding his business, bothering absolutely no one and just trying to watch the 2023 version of Alice Walker’s book.
Because he is diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, which makes traditional movie theater seats extremely uncomfortable for this form of arthritis, he brought his own chair. And someone in that movie theater treated his arthritis chair like Bishop Barber was Reggie Ray in the middle of that Alabama boat brawl. (I am 100% on Ray’s side!) The sight of this bishop in a chair was enough for movie theater staff and the police to get involved. He had to leave his 90-year-old mother to watch the movie without him and avoid arrest.
And I’m left with the same question my mother has had for years: How is he bothering you? How is this chair bothering you? More importantly, why are you bothering him?